How to Teach Your Kids to Be Charitable
All parents want to raise children who think of others. In a time when kids have more “stuff” than ever before, and are constantly bombarded with messages from the media touting consumerism, narcissism, and a “me first” mentality, it’s more important than ever for parents to actually teach their children how to be charitable.
However, many parents, while well-intentioned, actually approach these lessons the wrong way. For example, many families attempt to make others’ situations more “real” to their children by bringing the entire family down to a soup kitchen or homeless shelter to volunteer for a few hours. While such lessons can make an impression on children — and such organizations are always grateful for help — the actual act of volunteering with children doesn’t always go as planned.
Elementary school-aged children, for example, often cannot complete the tasks that are necessary to operate a soup kitchen, and end up creating more work for organizers. Not to mention, many of these “family volunteer” activities are one-time events, and fail to create the long-lasting impression that parents are hoping for.
So how can parents teach their children to give back, and create the engagement and sense of responsibility that helps them contribute to society? There are actually several ways to do so, and you can start with children as young as 4 or 5 years old.
The Rule of Thirds
One of the most popular ways to teach children about charity, and money management, is to follow the rule of thirds. Any time that your child receives money — from a birthday gift, allowance, doing chores, etc. — they divide the sum into three buckets: One to save, one to spend, and one to give. When the money reaches a pre-determined amount, you and your child can work together to determine where and how to donate the funds.
For example, a young child might opt to spend the money on cat or dog toys to donate to the animal shelter, while older kids might use their accumulated cash to sponsor a friend or family member in a charity run. The idea is to get kids used to the notion of designating a certain portion of their income to charity.
Create a Family Charity Project
Getting the entire family involved in a charity project not only instills philanthropic values into your children, but also helps you to educate your kids on how to identify the right organizations to support, make important decisions, and come to a consensus on important projects. This is especially useful when one family member wants to help, say, animals, while another is interested in cleaning up local parks and another wants to support children overseas. By researching organizations as a family, you can teach children what to look for in a worthy organization and how to evaluate their work.
Once you’ve determined an organization, brainstorm with the kids on how you might help out. It might be as simple as spending an afternoon in the park with some garbage bags, or more involved, such as spending a weekend decluttering the house and donating items to charity or having a garage sale to raise money. How you decide to give back isn’t necessarily as important as the fact that you are doing it as a family, and showing your kids that their hard work is worthwhile.
Join Charity-Focused Organizations
Getting your kids involved in organizations that support charities, such as 4-H, Girl and Boy Scouts, and church groups, can support your efforts to teach them about giving. Girl Scout troops, for example, are well known for their cookie sales, and commit to donating a portion of the troop sale proceeds to charity. Official youth groups may also have access to opportunities for volunteer work or major projects that individuals don’t — and kids get to have fun working alongside their friends.
Be a Spontaneous Giver
Not all charitable giving has to be a formal, structured affair. Incorporating charity and kindness into your everyday lives helps build a giving spirit in your kids. Try making random acts of kindness, like paying for someone else’s drive-thru order or toll, or buying some extra food for the food pantry on your weekly shopping trip. Drop a few coins into the bucket when a group is raising money outside of the store when you go to shop. When your kids see you giving, they will want to do it themselves.
Combatting the sense of entitlement and selfishness that can so easily occur in today’s world is challenging, but by focusing on charitable values, you can make great strides in that direction. Who knows — maybe when they are older, your kids will ask YOU to go to the soup kitchen with them to help.
Rasyied says
it’s inspired me, thanks.
Rachel says
This is awesome advice and it will make a life time difference in your child and those he/she reaches.
Sue E says
I think this is so IMPORTANT!! Children learn what they live and we can set an example for them. They see how we give at church, when the Salvation Army rings their bells, we give a brand new toy every year to Toys-4-Tots, they gave their good toys & clothes that they ddin’t want anymore to Goodwill!! PLUS I was so proud of my grandkids last year!! The twins raised money for their school by finding sponsors for running laps & a couple of my older grandkids, shaved their heads & donated their hair to make wigs for cancer patients. And a couple of other grandkids raised money for cancer!! We always support their efforts any way we can!!!
Sarah Kurtz says
What great advise. I donate everything I can. Kids love to help. My 6 year old daughter say a homeless woman and asked her what she liked to eat. My daughter than asked if we could help her. Of course we did. I was so proud of her.
Sue Mullaney says
This is a great idea! I know of some children who have birthdays and ask that instead of asking for birthday presents, they’ll ask their family and friends to make a donation to an animal shelter; it really helps the shelter out and the children are so happy they can help animals!
Ann says
This is good for children to do. My youngest grandson and I when we would walk around the neighborhood we would always take bags along and pick up trash laying on the streets. I am proud to say my Nieces son and my one grandson returned the money I gave them for Christmas saying Grandma thanks but you need the money more that I do .
Christina says
Every since my kids could talk I have been teaching them about charity.
Sarah L says
Do as I do. That’s what kids remember if they see you do something charitable.
Holly B says
You brought up some things I haven’t thought about before. This is very helpful. I really want to instill this in my children. Thanks for your ideas.
JOANNE FRANK says
Do as I do. That’s what kids remember if they see you do something charitable.
Lauren says
This is such a great idea
Dorothy Hubbard says
You made some good points on long term giving, that everyone should give some thought to do as a family.
michelle elizondo says
That’s great!!
Andrina Goetz says
I absolutely love the rule of thirds and am going to implement it.
Molli Vandehey says
i think my kids are really good at this, especially my son. he is definitely a little citizen
kara kudro says
thanks for this post, it’s so important that we instill charity and gratitude into the hearts of our children. If we haven’t done these things how can really find meaning and joy in their futures??
Jeanna Massman says
I love the idea of helping children to be aware of what they can do to help others.
Jerry Marquardt says
These are some reall6y great ideas to helping kids help others. Thanks for sharing.
Dorothy Teel says
Thank you for sharing these are basic events that all children should learn about and pick some that they really want to do, I love the one about if you get a new outfit or toy than give two to charity or Goodwill for others to enjoy, my granddaughters rake neighbors yards and earn money and then they give 1/3 of what they earn to church charity, thanks for more ideas
Jennifer Ann Wilson says
Love the rule of thirds, I need to start this!
Crystal Mckinley says
I teach my girls to be kind and generous through the Bible and at Sunday School. We as Christians are to put others before ourselves in acts of love and kindness.
Ronald Gagnon says
Theses are terrific ideas…I especially agree with The Rule of Thirds
Tenley Erickson says
Fantastic! These are lessons that they don’t often learn in school. It is so very important to show kids how good it can feel to help others. It can even encourage them to find other ways to help those less fortunate. These tips are great!
KATE SARSFIELD says
Charity, like compassion, shouldn’t need to be ‘taught’, it should be a natural part of everyone’s daily life. Putting others first and being unselfish are what make us civilised.
Kelly says
I love this! I have tried to get my kids to think charitable, and with my money they are! However, if it comes to their money, or their giving up something, it becomes a much more difficult exercise. We are blessed to have a girl scout troop that does a lot of community service. Through that they are become more sensitive to the needs of others. I guess that is a great step.
Claudette Lariviere says
Fabulous article! My husband and I absolutely taught our children to make the world a better place..the amazing feeling of accomplishment help to develop them to be the best they can be. They are both grown and are awesome! We luv and admire their conviction to make the world a better place….. ????
michelle combs says
definitely a good thing to teach your kids
Ronald Gagnon says
Excellent article…especially like teaching kids the thirds policy
Lorin B. says
Never thought about the rules of 3rds. Great idea!
Ronald Gagnon says
I love the rule of three..it teaches them not only the value of money but also that others are in need of some also…the idea of a preset limit and then consensus on the receipient is excellent
clojo9372 says
What an inspiring and thought provoking post. We live in a society that can be a bit self-absorbed. It is vital to teach our children the importance of helping each other. The Rule of Thirds is a wonderful policy! 🙂
Cynthia Mercado says
I definitely look to instill this in my children. My adult daughter buys the person behind her meal when she eats places. This always amazes me because she works very hard and is low income.
Sue Mullaney says
I’ve read stories about kids who, when they have their birthdays, they’ll ask their friends to donate food, toys, etc., to a local animal shelter instead of giving them presents. I think that’s a wonderful thing to do!
Michele says
Thank you for sharing this. We should all see to it that we follow the guidelines suggested here.
Karen Jaras says
I teach my grandkids to donate toys and money to less fortunate.
Nena Sinclair says
Great post! This is something I’ve always taught my children, I think it’s so important!
Ann says
I think it good to teach kids to be charitable also to volunteer. It teaches them to help others and share what they have that others dont . Good tips and ideas . Thanks
Sonya Cocherells says
This sounds awesome. Gracie has a good heart already, I just want her to keep it going! She loves the elderly and special needs children.
Susan Smith says
My children donate the toys they no longer play with to Goodwill. They also donate to Toys for Tots.
Ireon Williams says
Thanks for sharing great idea
Thomas Gibson says
I rather teach a child to be charitable with their time versus monetary funds. Like helping elderly person with lawn at no charge. Etc…
Cami Valenzuela says
I am constantly telling my boys to be charitable. Even today I had my 6 year old help an older lady unload her car and take her cart at the grocery store. I of course helped him but just to show him the right things to do. My son also got the most helpful award at school. I tell him every morning do at least 1 nice thing for someone. Help your teacher, give your friends and pencil, or give some a smile if they are having a bad day. We also volunteer at the food bank as a family. Wonderful article. Thanks for some more ideas.
RT says
The rule of the thirds is awesome! I hope the next generation does better and also inspires others!
Ann says
So many of the previous commenters have made such wonderful points! I’d like to make just one brief note that I believe to be very important: Children learn by example. And not simply by observing explicit actions! They’re like little sponges, and can pick up on beliefs, attitudes, and values.
Ronald Gagnon says
Very good information for this very selfish generation
Jeanna Massman says
Thanks for the ideas. It’s never too early to encourage your children to think of others.
Geri Sandoval says
It’s always good to teach your kids to pay it forward, there are many ways to do good things.
Untung Waluyo says
But don’t give money to someone on the road.
Jeanna Massman says
It’s great to start early teaching children to be considerate of others.
dawn gordon says
Good post…sometimes just putting toys and clothes twice a year is a nice charitable thing to do as a family
We have a rule every November before Xmas that toys purged for new ones and my daughter feels goid about other kids playing with them
Ronald Gagnon says
This is wonderful..it is never to soon to teach your children to be charitable…I think the best is The Rule of Thirds
Susan Smith says
My kids love putting money in the bin at our church and the Goodwill buckets during Christmas.
Katt Lewis says
Project blue is a good one if you live near water. I think teaching children young to give away an old toy when they get new ones is a great idea. We were the recipients of Chicago’s Gold Coast rich kids cleaning out their toy closets before Xmas and I am just as happy with something used, that is useful to me, as I am with something new.